Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Marriage or Mirage?

This topic has been on my mind lately...

 Typically it seems as though people have mapped out their lives from a young age. We are asked "what do you want to be when you grow up?" as children and we have romantic movies and ideology shoved down our throats from the time we are able to actively listen until death. But these ideas seriously need to be looked at and reconsidered. Disney has taught us that all girls are princess dying to be rescued from some evil captor or other...this is bullshit. It is because of things like this that girls from a young age are brainwashed into a "Fairytale wedding" and that they should be on a quest to find their "soulmate". There are about 7 BILLION people on this earth, so statistically speaking, there is always a better match for you somewhere out there then the one you are with, it just so happens that they are in a place where you haven't expanded to.

 I can't tell you how many times in my short 24years I've heard girls (guys as well) say "I want (x) amount of kids, and get married by the time I'm (x) years old This is bullshit. Its amazing to me how people can just map out their life like that and not even realize that by doing that they are simply putting themselves in a box and enter into a marriage or life with someone that they can just paste into that cookie-cutter life. I truly believe that it is this kind of attitude that has ruined love and romance. People get married and think, "this is it, this is what I've wanted". Do they even realize that entering into a marriage is a contractual obligation? How many times have you willingly signed a life contract? Odds are, you haven't (unless you're married, of course), and either way, it's stupid. Don't get me wrong, I'm for marriage (gay, straight, and otherwise), but I think that the idea of what it is has ruined love. It has turned a feeling into a contract. And whether people will admit it or not, if you love someone, a ring on your finger and a piece of paper doesn't have the slightest significance in the grand-scheme of things.

Let me put this into modern terms...
Kim Kardashian, famous for fucking black guys. We all know her and what goes on in her life, so she will be my example.
Kim K married a pro basketball player Kris Humphries.  All the events leading up to their wedding were chronicled on E! in a tv show.  The entire show was centered around their life together and led up to "Kim's fairytale wedding".  They spent more money on this wedding than we are in a deficit with the economy, and how long did it last? 45 DAYS. What a JOKE!  But the entire time all you had to look at was what Kim wanted for the wedding, and really, any guy could have fit into her "dream mold".  As a girl she is crazy (we all are) and she had been planning this wedding in her head since she was a young girl.  It just happened so quickly because she realized she was getting old and was "supposed" to be married by that age with a baby on the way.  She put herself in a box and limited what her life could be with someone else, for some spur-of-the-moment romance.

I'm getting annoyed just blogging about that, I digress.

Marriage is a sham.  It's a way to get a tax break and control someone else's shit when they die.  If you're in love, please, consider the real cost of entering into a marriage and if it's really right for you and your partner.  Everyone deserves to be happy, just make sure that it's YOU that is doing the defining of what Happy is to You, not by way of disney movie or society.

I'll probably write more on this topic later, but for now that is all.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Take Responsibility.

Are you mad at someone? Has someone done you wrong? Do you constantly place fault on someone or something, for events that didn't turn out in your favor? Think about this...

For every finger you point, 3 point back at you. Events that transpire are a direct effect of something YOU caused, good and bad. What you are mad at in another being, is in reality, you being mad at something in yourself.

Take for instance, a rumor. We've all heard them, and we've all been the victim of one or more at some point. When you find a person who may have started it or spread it, you may choose to confront this person, or you may choose to hate this person. Either way, IT IS YOUR FAULT. Allow me to clarify... I recently heard through the rumor-mill things that one of my friends said about a past relationship of mine. The things that I was told were not true, and I got upset that my friend had been talking about my past relationship to other people. I called my friend out with a sharp tongue. This was a mistake. Annoying as it is that this person was spreading a rumor, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was MY FAULT that this had happened. I had told my friend a little bit about my past relationship, and it was enough for my friend to form an opinion and come to a conclusion about MY relationship. The relationship that my friend formed an opinion on was simply because I gave up enough information for my friend to take sides on. It is not my place, or your place, to give up enough information about another person. I had to stand up and take responsibility for letting the rumor-mill suck up my story, and spit it out to the filth it had become. If you want to talk to a friend about a situation I realized I have to make sure it is unambiguous and own everything I say. ^^This is a random post from months ago that I am just now deciding to post. ENJOY!

Thought In A Text Message

So recently a good friend has been telling me how unhappy he is in his current living situation with his girlfriend and relationship. He literally said "I am so Unhappy". Hearing someone I care about say that weights heavy on me. I just had a random fury of bliss come out of my thumbs in a text message to him and I thought I would share it.. "In the realm of tomorrow's I've learned that I cannot truly be prepared. My thoughts and worries of today don't always carry into tomorrow, and when they do, I take steps to make my tomorrows better than my yesterdays. You are a Phoenix, a Force, and when you lead with good intentions you will always rise. I've learned to not make promises I can't keep to myself and also to others. I've also learned that letting go is sometimes better than hanging on. I've learned that each day we awake with wings, and the more we are comfortable with defeat the less we'll soar. Always try make your today's and your present moments happy ones and if they can't be, learn from it. Life is always a lesson or a blessing, and regardless of which "this too shall pass". Smile. Be present. Learn. Love. Cheers to better tomorrow." So on that note, I strongly urge you to be the BEST version of yourself. No matter what the circumstances. If the only vibes you put out is love and good-will, that is what you will receive back. No God, No Peace. Know God, Know Peace. <3

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Crumbs and Bums VS. Snakes and Steaks

I read a quote recently, "I'd rather eat crumbs with bums...than eat steaks with snakes." Interesting way to put it, but YES! Recently something has been jumping out at me, friends, true friends, are harder to find once you hit adult life. Why is that? The older you get do people become more shady? No. What my philosophy is, is that people just seem to narrow their goals the older they get and if you aren't included in whatever they have planned, people stop caring and taking your feelings into consideration. People become more selfish. I must say, I am very happy where I am in my life, and I have taken on the role of letting people go in my life if they don't enhance it in some way, but that is NOT a reason be unkind. There is a balance that can be found between real friends and keeping who you are. There is no reason to be unpleasant to anyone ever. Things you don't like in someone are because they are a reflection of something you don't like in yourself. I wish more people would take the Thumper approach to life, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". There is no reason to be a fake friend to anyone, just recognize the friendship you can have with someone and adjust to fit that mold. Don't be a fake person, because in the end I think that we'd all rather bum around with people that genuinely care, than live lavishly with those who wish us harm. Something to remember though, there will always be fakers out there, just try not to be one.

Friday, January 13, 2012

FORGIVE and let the love in.

Easier said than done right? Sometimes people can do horrible things to you, things that are "unforgivable". What you need to realize is, there is nothing in this world that can be classified as unforgivable. You may think "Well certainly if someone murdered my entire family, there is no way I could forgive for that". To think this would be a mistake. When you hate someone, or carry the burden around of not being able to pardon a certain person or act, who is it really hurting? You are only hurting yourself. Hate, or a distaste for a person or action, doesn't hurt the person/thing you have these feelings toward. Instead it turns your very essence dark.

Do you think if a murderer comes after the people you love, and you hate this person and won't forgive them, that they care? And even if they do care, why would you carry the burden of bad feelings with you everywhere? FORGIVE. As hard as it may be, the way to combat an evil act or person isn't to meet them head-on with evil or hate. It's like a yin-yang, and the only way to battle hate is to meet it with it's opposite; LOVE. Love everyone. No matter how "bad" of a person they may be, and forgive them for their wrong doings. You were not put on this earth to judge, you are here to live. Every person has his or her own struggle, their own demons. So forgive and love and don't let someone else's darkness affect your light.