I was going to start off by saying "I haven't written in years and so much has happened" and go into that whole rant about what I've been up to and how my life has changed... but that's not why I am writing now. I'm writing because I'm starting over, in a lot of ways, and I need to share my journey.
I don't really give a shit if anyone reads this or not, but I feel like there are lessons I have learned that I would rather put out there than not.
Totally cliché, I am writing this with a glass of wine next to me on a Sunday evening home alone. Trust me, it's not as glamorous as 'Sex and the City' makes it out to be, but it works for now.
After a failed engagement (to a guy I knew only 6 days before we got engaged), losing my job, another breakup, landing a dream job and now moving into a new spot- all of which I'll write about, or not- I want to write about currently being single.
I am currently 28 years old, and single.
I have been the type of person that gets in relationships that turn serious pretty quickly (sometimes because I fall quickly, sometimes because it's easier than dating), but clearly, everyone I've been in up until this point has failed. Luckily, whether it was my fault or my significant other or both, I have been able to take away lessons. Lessons about myself, and lessons about who I am.
Breakups are hard, man. I just recently got out of a relationship that got pretty serious within weeks. Not the best idea, but I regret nothing about it. Matter of fact, I still love the guy. We just weren't a right fit for one another. The hardest part about saying (writing) that, is it is SO hard to let it go. With social media now days, it's hard to not check up on what he's up to or wonder if he's doing the same. How are we supposed to get any peace? Well, I'm convinced I'm not totally over it. Not yet at least. The hardest part about getting out of a relationship, and what I'm having a hard time with now, is falling out of love with the potential that my partner and I had.
That being said... I'm ready to get down and dirty with some ME time.
I've found so much happiness after relationships diving back into myself as a single force. Doing the things I love and having no obligation to another person. Not that having a partner is ever a bad thing, but I always need that space to reflect so I can shed some baggage and move forward.
Right now I have two friends that are helping my life in ways that they don't even know.... One friend just got into a 'serious' relationship (SUPER quickly), and the other just got out of a serious two year relationship.
On one hand, my friend that just got into this very serious relationship very quickly, is helping me realize I truly have no desire to rush into anything serious. On the other hand, my friend who just got out of a serious relationship, is on a serious rampage to, we'll just say distract herself, helping me realize that that "fill my time with meaningless interactions" isn't something I'm interested in right now either.
Standing by my really good friends through their relationships right now is helping me come to terms with what I want out of one and how to not settle.
Right now I have decided I'm not wearing makeup for 30 days. I'm trying this whole "don't care to make anyone happy but me" approach to life!
